Parent+Conferences

 Parent conferences are a way to create a connection between the school and the parent and to share the progress of the child: academically, socially, and behaviorally.Discuss what you do personally to prepare the students for conferences, to prepare the parents for conferences, and what you do, as a teacher, to prepare for each child's conference.Share with your classmates the best conference you have ever had with parents, and also discuss the worst conference you have had with parents. What made the first situation successful? And what made the latter situation unsuccessful? Was there anything you could have done to make the latter situation better, and if so, did you implement it the next time? If you have not been part of a conference situation at this point, reflect on what is your worst fear during a parent-teacher conference & what goals do you hope to achieve during the parent-teacher conference.

When preparing for conferences I would make sure to be organized and take the time to review each students strengths and opportunities. I would hand out the progress report to each student so they knew where they were standing and what their parents would be seeing during the conference. I would also ask them to provide a self evaluation on their progress throughout the term and let them know I will be sharing the information with their parents. In the self evaluation I would ask that they include their struggles and achievements during this time and have the students set personal goals. I will then take the students self evaluation and my evaluations and set up learning goals for the students. I will focus on the positive and try and develop a plan to change negative behaviors. During the parents will hopefully be prepared for the conferences because of the website where all grades, daily tasks and assignments are posted.-Chris My worst fear during parent teacher conferences is facing a parent who will not listen to what I have to say. I think it is important for parents and teachers to work together for the student. I think parents can often be defensive and think that their child is being picked on. This creates a struggle with the parent on one side and the teacher on another with the student in the middle. During conferences I want to be able to relate to each family and let them know I am there to help the student succeed and I will work with the parents in anyway I can to do that. I think it is important to set up learning goals with the parents so they feel like they are a part of the process.-chris

Chris- Difficult parents that will not believe the behavior their child has would be my fear as well. Teachers can do everything right, teach all the information, and have all the right tools but that doesn't mean that all students will have behavior or score the way we want them to. Parents can be the best asset or the biggest hurdle for teachers. -Mike

Chris and Mike - I agree 100% with that being my biggest fear as well! And I like how Mike put it, "parents can be the best asset or the biggest hurdle for teachers". SO TRUE!!! - Stephanie

I could't agree with Mikes comment more! Chris you made some wonderful observations. Mike, I think that most teachers in education today would agree with you. Mandy

Chris- that would be a frightening experience to have a parent who wont listen. I especially don't like people who talk over me and interrupt and I hate it when someone is angry at me. Its such an uncomfortable situation! -Melissa C.

__ Student- __ I would meet with each student and discuss goals of conferences and the things I intend to talk about during conferences. During this meeting I would ask the children some self-evaluation questions- writing down their answers to share with their parents. __Parents-__ They would already be partly prepared by notes I’ve sent home stating positives and possible struggles. Also a week or so before conferences I could send home a letter reminding parents of the conference date and time, and also include a conference agenda and a pre-conference parent questionnaire to be completed and returned prior to the conference.__Myself-__ I would first prepare student & parent. I would then collect and clearly organize important info. about the student. I would acquire some of the student’s work and date furnishing a record of student’s academic progress and behavior. It will need to be well organized; I will make notes of things I specifically want to say, keeping in mind to sandwich negative inside positive comments. I also want to leave room to have a question and answer session.I’ve never conducted a parent-teacher conference, but my worst fear for a conference would be- the parent attacking (not physically-verbally) myself for things I was saying or not listening to what I had to say. I would have to validate the parent's feelings and use active listening to diffuse the situation. It could then help to ask the parent what he or she thinks should be done, or what they feel like in an accurate evaluation of their child. And insert my own thoughts along side their own. If I or any teacher went into a conference with a bad attitude about the student or parent- this is going to lead to a negative experience (this is something a teacher might have to work hard to not have happen especially if ‘my worst fear’ happened at a previous conference). My conference goals would be to effectively express to the parent exactly how the student is doing in class. I want the parent to work with me in making the year in my classroom the best experience it could be for the student. And ensuring they are learning to the best of their ability. - Nikki

Nikki- I really like the comment you made about going into a conference with good attitude. This can be really hard when you know that you have a difficult parent or student that you are working with! *TRICIA*

To help the students prepare for conferences I would inform them that conferences are coming up and let them decorate a file folder to put their artwork in and other important papers I would be sharing with their parents or guardians. I'd also allow the student to fill out a survey about how they feel about their overall performance and let them ask questions or express concerns. I'd also have them make a goal for the upcoming months until the next conference or to meet by the end of the year. To prepare the parents for conferences I would have had notes sent home that allowed them to set up a time to meet with me. Then about a week before the conference send home a reminder note along with a survey about how they feel the teacher(s) are doing in their child's classroom and any suggestions or concerns they'd like to express. To prepare myself for the conference I'd make sure to have information about the student to present to the parents, such as art samples or other outstanding assignments. I'd also set up a round conference table to make it a comfortable, non-threatening environment. I'd remember to address positives first, then negatives, then close with a positive. I've never had to give a conference, but my overall fear would be about addressing the concerns that I have for a child in my classroom. Like if I suspect any delays or that s/he may be special needs. The easy part would be telling a parent what a wonderful, smart child they have and what a joy it is to have them in the classroom. Hopefully during a conference I'll be able to get through them all without having a difficult parent or a parent who gets upset about their child's lack of performance. -Melissa

Melissa- As an early childhood educator you maybe the first person to notice a child’s educational delays, I think it would be extremely difficult to bring this up to a parent. No parent wants to hear that their child might have problems, but by letting the parent know that with a little additional support their child can be very successful I think most parents would be thankful it was caught earlier rather than later.-Chris

Melissa- I like the idea of having the kids create artwork and a folder for the conference. This gives the students a feeling of being apart of the conferences and also a sense of self-worth with the project. Another good idea you had that I wouldn't mind doing is the survey to address the teachers ability in the classroom. This can help the teacher in areas that need improvement and identify areas that need impovement. As always in conferences, I believe it is vital to express the areas that the child is doing well. - Mike

Melissa- I completely agree with you on your worst fear of addressing concerns about a student. I think this would take some planning on how to deliver information to the parent(s) about any concerns you have wtihout "attacking" the student. Making sure to point out positives wtih any student is a very effective way to have a smooth conference. *TRICIA*

Melissa- I think it is so important for the students to prepare for the confrence also. I think your idea of reminders will increase attendance.

**Preparing students for conferences**: to prepare my students for conferences I would explain to them the points that I will be talking to each of their parent(s) about so they know what will be going on during the conference. I would have a box where students could express any general concerns on paper so they could ask anonomously if they choose to. I would then read and answer these questions to the class. Chances are, if one student has a concern about something, then someone else may too. I would also have each student pick a number of works or projects that they have done to show to their parents at conference time. I will let them display these in a folder/binder that they will design. To end the conference, I will have them write one goal that they would like to reach (in an amount of time to be determined) and share this with the parent(s). I will then help them monitor this goal and keep the parents informed on how the student is doing in reaching this goal. **Preparing parents for conferences**: to prepare parents for conferences I would send home a reminder letter letting them know what time their conference is scheduled for and to let me know if we need to reschedule. I would include the same points that I shared with the students as to what we will be discussing. I will make it clear that they can contact me if they have any concerns ahead of time that I can be aware of, or if they have anything specific they would like to talk about before we sit down for the conference. **Preparing myself for conferences**: to prepare myself for conferences I will have each students' folder organized in the order of how we will discuss the material. When explaining data and other information that may be confusing, I will do this in a way that is easy to understand. I will focus not only on the things that the student needs to work on, but also have a list of positives about the student. We will then review the goal that their child came up with and discuss ways that we can accomplish this.
 * My worst fear ** during a parent-teacher conference is being faced with a question or concern from a parent that I cannot respond a solution to on the spot or one that totally catches me off guard that I didn't see coming. Having open parent communication throughout the school year will hopefully aviod this type of scenerio, but there is always the chance when the parent(s) have a concern that I am not aware of. This is also the reason behind sending the letter home to parents before the conference stating that they can contact me with any concerns before we meet so I can be prepared during our conference time.
 * The main goal ** I hope to achieve during conference time with the parents is ending the conference on a positive note. No matter what concerns or questions may arise during the conference, being able to work out a plan that involves the parent(s) and the students that we can all agree on will make the school year a lot happier and fun for everyone! *TRICIA*

Tricia- I really like when preparing students you would let //them// pick out their own work to show their parents- this allows them to pick what //they// think has been completed best- because what we think is good and what they think is good may differ! Great idea!- Nikki

Tricia - I like your technique when preparing students for conferences. I don't remember in school ever being informed of meetings unless it was the date and time, that's about it. What a great opportunity to involve the students, parents, and teacher on their achievements! I don't know any child that would not benefit from this. Good idea! :) - Stephanie

Tricia- thats really thoughtful to realize that if one student has a concern then usually other classmates will too, because I have experienced that so many times when I had a question but I was too shy to ask it. Then to my relief someone else would end up asking the same question. -Melissa C.

__Tricia__- Really like the idea of having them design there own folder to show their parents. They would work hard knowing it was for the PT confrences.***Amanda M.*** Parent/teacher conferences are a necessary way for the two parties to communicate the progress of a child’s schooling. I have participating in several conferences as a parent, none as a teacher. The best conference that I was a part of was one in which the teacher was very prepared with coursework from my son and answers to the examples to the teacher was conveying to me. This made me feel that the teacher was very prepared and had a good grasp on the classroom. I felt that my son was receiving a good education because the teacher providing me with a sense of caring and the desire to give the best experience possible. The worse conference I was a part of was the direct opposite of the best. I felt that neither I nor the teacher was prepared to attend the conference and felt less than thrilled with the grasp the teacher had on the classroom. Organization and a direct sense of how the room is run and the educational goals of students would have helped in this conference. Using rubrics for homework gives the student a clear idea of what to do to get a certain grade. Using rubrics in conferences can do the same thing. It can give the parents a clear course of the class and what is required of the student to achieve the most that they can. If I were a teacher during the conference, I feel being prepared would be essential for the smooth workings of the conference. I would fear having parents that don’t want to make the effort needed to help their child succeed. Teachers can do all the right things in educating students, but they need the support of their family to help along the way. -Mike

Mike- I really like your rubric idea! It’s a great way to know exactly what is expected! Can’t argue with what’s written out like that, especially if a student does poorly. Fabulous idea! - Nikki

Mike - I agree with Nikki, I really like the rubric idea. Very informative and easy to read (if explained accurately). - Stephanie

__Mike-__ Both the girls are right a rubric is a great idea. That way the parent and the student know where they stand on everything and has a take away with that to work on. I think it would make getting ready for the confrences alot easier too having a rubric and just filling stuff in, nothing gets forgotten and everything gets explained.***Amanda M.***


 * Student ** preparation for me would include informing the student of when the conference will be held, then explaining what I will be discussing with their parents. I would then ask them individually what they would like to relay to their parents at this meeting; what are they proud of, worked hardest at, think is the "coolest", etc. I would utilize a self-evaluation for them to have filled out throughout the year up until this point, then I would compare mine to theirs and together we would set personal/academic goals.


 * Parent ** preparation would include sending a sheet home/email well in advance to inform of the dates that conferences were. In this I would include at least 3 ways to get ahold of me before conferences to discuss any concerns or questions they may have beforehand. I would also include a general list of questions/inquiries that the parents can reference to gain a perspective on what they may want to know of their child's progress if they were having a hard time thinking of some on their own. For the first time parent this could be a viable resource. I would also strongly encourage parents/guardians to inform me if the time set does not work for them so we can reschedule if necessary (or do it over the phone, last case scenario).


 * Myself, ** I would have everything organized in files that are easily accessible during the conference. I would have everything in order and be ready before time in case the parent/s is/are early. The preparation with the student and parent/s beforehand will help me further plan for what will be needed for our face to face contact. I like Mike's idea of a rubric, but may only utilize this for older students. Something a little more basic may be needed for the younger variety. :)

My **worst fear** would be having a parent that was unwilling to listen or care about their child's progress, or lack there of. I want to believe that all parents want what's best for their child/ren, but that's not always the case in the world we live in. Little or no support from your family and who is closest to you is definitely a step towards failure due to lack of motivation. This is ONE of my worst fears!

The **main goal** of what I would want to achieve at this conference would be a full, or better understanding of where the student is at. I would want to ensure the parents/guardians that I am there to help the student achieve their goals and to succeed academically. I would want them to feel comfortable asking me questions and address their concerns without judgement. **Open communication between all would be my main goal**. - Stephanie

Stephanie- By you being so organized and doing everything you could do for the students I think most parents would be more motivated by your efforts. I understand your fear of “bad” parents but there is nothing we can do about a student’s home life, you can just be yourself and show the students that there are more options available to them later in life, they don’t have to be their parents.-Chris

Stephanie, I want to add on to what Chris was saying about your organization. Parents are DEFINITELY motivated by that. I sent a letter home with my players (for the parents) at our preseason meeting. It was amazing what response I got. Many parents commented on how organized I looked as a coach and it was clear what goals I had for the year. I honestly think that the organized appearance is what got me all the support I had this year. As for your main goal of the conference, I love how you stress open communication. That is what it is all about! - Sean

I think I will stress the importance of the confrence to the students. If they are excited to have something to show her parents and build up the excitement at home. This may also increase parent attendance. As for the parents I would come prepared with a standard set of records for each child. I will show forms and rubrics and how their child did based on those standards. This will allow the parent to see that every child is held to the same standards and what my comments following this may be will let them know where I am coming from with my data. This will be the stepping off point and then we will focus our discussion to the students individual needs. As for myself I think my biggest fears will be standoing my ground if I have an upset parent who questions my ability to do my job. No one wants to hear that their child isn't perfect. I know that I will be able to deal with the parent but I don't want to have to deal with the self doubt that the confrence may give me. Mandy

As a parent the best conference I attended was with a teacher who had information to share with us about the things that our child was doing well. She also shared with us some of the things that they were struggling with. She also shared with us some of the positive behavior traits they shared, and some areas that needed work. There was a time for us to ask questions. She also shared with us her goals for our child over the next period of time. The worst conference I have attended as a parent was when the teacher didn't really talk about my child as an individual. He just generalized the class as a whole. It would have been better if he would have been able to talk more about my student and the things good or bad that concerned my child. As an attempt to prepare the students for conferences you could have them evaluate themselves in some areas: things they do well, things they need to work on, things things they like. As a teacher it will be critical to be organized. We know there will be students that really frustrate us, but it will also be important that you have something positive to say about each student. Jill I think you had a positive conference because the teacher made a "comment sandwich". They simply went positive-negative-positive. The beauty of it all is that it got all the neccesary information across. - Sean

Chris--Difficult parents are a fear of mine. So many parents think their child can do no wrong, or are not the smartest and will not listen to what you have to say. Jill Nikki-- I think it is a good idea to meet with the students and let them know what your concerns an their greatest accomplishments are. This will hopefully prevent any surprises after I have met with their parents. Jill

I have not really been part of a conference dealing with academics. However, while coaching this year, parents have confronted me before/after our games and at the varsity games about how their kids are doing. This is really informal but it taught me to always be on my toes. Fortunately there have never been heated discussions and I have always had all the support in the world from the parents. I did have a kid quit on me at point and his parents made him stay out for basketball so we discussed that for about 10 minutes at the game following “the incident.” I chose his punishment for leaving his team out to dry and his parents showed nothing but support for my decision. That is as close as I have been to a conference. I have heard some horror stories about conferences from a mentor of mine who used to teach. The biggest worry is parents not seeing eye-to-eye with you as a teacher. By that I mean, in terms of your thinking, the parents aren’t even in left field - they’re in the parking lot. I’ve heard times of parents seeing their kid had a C and celebrating even though the student was clearly capable of an A. I’ve also heard the opposite. Some students just are not capable of being a 4.0 student. They can all learn the material and be competent but an A is just not feasible in every class. The parent demanded that the teacher change the grade so that the student would have an A. The teacher would not budge. He simply told the parent that there was nothing being accomplished at the P-T conference so he ended the meeting and scheduled another conference but this time the principal would also be present. I am really hoping that is a rare case. The goals I hope to achieve during a P-T conference are pretty simple. I want to show the parents where the student was, where they are now, and where I as a teacher want them to be over the next period of time, and also devise a plan to make that goal happen. I believe that is the goal of a P-T conference: show what progress has been made and make adjustments if necessary to continue and improve progress. -Sean

I think of PT confrences alot like how a progress report goes with an employer. Their needs to be a mix of the good and bad to keep things positive and still get things addressed. I don't have a lot of previous experiences with Partent Teacher confrences under my belt but I think when I am a teacher I will over prepare for each student. Having a great start on what you want to get accomplished a tthe meeting will help and then making sure that you have two positive things to say for each negaitve. Also if there are big issues I think having evidence such as some charts or number of instances in a day so that it doesn't sound like you are just picking on the child. That way the parent sees the results and you can work together to fix the problem. But focus on progress and stay positive would be my path for PT confrences. Bad confrences could happen very easily, i remember once a friends parent storming out of the room becasue the teacher had pointed out a few bad things. I don't know exactly what was said (my friend was a good kid, a little hyper but good) but that situation scared the pants off me. Mostly everything about parent teacher confrontations scare me...bad. But being overly prepared and focusing on positive progress are the best things I think that I can do to help. ***Amanda M.***

Organization is the key to any conference, whether it is a business conference or a parent teacher conference. I would want to have all students’ work separated into folders, whether completed or late. I would want to be prepared to discuss any unacceptable grades that the student had received with their parents. I like the possibility of having the students do a self-evaluation report card, but only if the students decided to take it seriously. I would send out a letter asking parents when the best opportunity would suit them to come in for the conference, along with a brief summary of what the class has accomplished over the past several weeks. During the conference I would stress the accomplishments of each student, touching on what I think they could improve on. I would ask the parents and their students what they think they could improve on or what they would like to learn more about in the weeks to come. I have never been to a parent teacher conference, so I really can not reflect on the good or the bad. Adam

/What I would like to do would be to have a visual cue like a graph, which would be anonymous, so I can show the parents where their child is in relation to the rest of the group. I would also ask the parents what their concerns/questions are and if they have any thoughts on my performance. Finally, I would also ask the student what work they are most proud of so the parents can see what their children like to do for classwork and give them an opportunity to feel pride in their child. If at all possible, I would avoid negativity. Parent/Teacher conferences have a such a bad vibe to begin with. I really want them to leave happy. - Mitch